In the run-up to Christmas we’ve had the usual influx of noteworthy films popping up in Cinemas, here at Blueprint we do our best to see as many as possibly and give you little 1 paragraph reviews on our weekly round-up blogs. But if those reviews are just too long for you (we have no idea how that could be) Blueprint: Review have got your back. Here they are to give you their top 10 film reviews packaged into teeny weeny Haikus:
Top 10 Haiku Reviews
It’s back and it’s bigger than ever!! Well it’s still only a top ten, it’s actually the same size it always has been, but we’re unusually excited. We’ve had some great Haiku submissions this month and we’ve laughed our socks off at your (and our) fantastic reviews. If you want to be featured in next months blog, come up with a review haiku and tweet it @Blueprintrev with the hashtag #HaikuReview – Easy as pie! Here’s our pick of the top 10.
SPECTRE by Darren Bolton (@Darrenleebolton)
So silly it’s dumb.
So serious it’s boring.
Glad this era’s done.
PEANUTS by Joel D Smith (@JoelDReports)
These Peanuts look new
But still taste like they used to.
Shell out the money.
WHITE BUFFALO by David Brook (@Dave_Or_Did)
Bronson kicks the ass
Of a giant robot ox
In moody western
IRIS by Darren Bolton (@Darrenleebolton)
It may go nowhere;
But it’s a fun insight to
Iris and her world.
THE KUNG FU WARRIOR by David Brook (@Dave_Or_Did)
Story, who needs it?
Let’s just kick the living crap
Out of each other
OLIVER AND COMPANY by Kate V. (@PossiblyEvenMe)
Surprisingly holds up
Much darker than remembered
Superb vocal cast
THE JUNKMAN by David Brook (@Dave_Or_Did)
Meta and messy
Yet the scale of the ‘car-nage’
CAROL by Darren Bolton (@Darrenleebolton)
Film craft at its best,
From the script to the music.
But just didn’t care.
MOTOR PSYCHO by David Brook (@Dave_Or_Did)
Boob king Russ Meyer
Tones down the flesh a little
For classier trash
WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS by Darren Bolton (@Darrenleebolton)
But it was just bang average.
Not funny enough.