Unsure of what to see at the cinema? Let our friends over at Blueprint Review help you out! (If you’re wondering if the new Star Trek is any good, you’ve come to the right place.) Feel free to write your own haiku reviews and tweet them at @blueprintrev – you could be featured in next month’s post!

It’s the start of a new month, which means we have a stockpile of Haiku Reviews all ready to go! We recommend tucking up with a hot drink, listening to the August rain outside (sigh), and settling in with these insightful, funny, seventeen-syllabled film reviews.

We’ll be honest, there’s a lot of Star Trek.

Top 10 Haiku Reviews

STAR TREK BEYOND: by Joshua Bradley  (@airjoshb)
Fast is at warp speed
Furious is the frontier
Unity the flag

STAR TREK BEYOND: by Joshua Bradley  (@airjoshb)
Old themes made anew
With heavy hands falling flat
Best when warp engaged

STAR TREK BEYOND: by David Brook (@Dave_or_did)
Lin test drives Star Trek
Brings more fiction than science
But flies at warp speed


POLTERGEIST by Elena Chin (@theelenachin)
Poltergeist scares me.
Will you go into the light?
The other side waits.

TARZAN: by Joshua Bradley (@airjoshb)
Somewhere in between
Burton’s apes and Jackson’s Kong
Stilted and star struck

JASON BOURNE: by David Brook (@Dave_or_did)
Bourne’s fifth time around
Offers no new surprises
Fun but generic


FINDING DORY: by David Brook (@Dave_or_did)
Special needs issues
Add weight to this touching tale
Not a dry eye left.

STAR TREK BEYOND: by Kate V. (@possiblyevenme)
Simon Pegg just wrote
All the best lines for himself
Better than last one


STAR TREK BEYOND: by Lorna Martin (@lornarabbit)
Finally part three
Feels like a Classic Trek film!
(With more explosions)

THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH: by Lorna Martin (@lornarabbit)
Only good because
Bowie’s in it. Do not watch
With parents or kids.


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